Just Un-Unfriend Me Then

What in the world is going on? You jump on social media and if you are like me you see people who you know are friends going at each other like wild jackals. It is starting to feel more like Wrestle Mania than Social Media.

Maybe it’s because famous people are doing it, a computer screen feels impersonal, or the keyboard in front of us gives us a quick way to respond.

I do believe, however, we are all better than this.  Today we can decide that there is a better way and we don’t have to play a part in the Social Mania free-for-all anymore. Going forward we can make Social Media a better place by following this 3 step process when someone hurts us, offends us, or just makes us angry online.

1. Go to people in private and respectfully let them know what they posted hurt you. Most of the time people think they are coming across one way when in fact they are coming across a completely different way. If you have had interaction with another human… ever… you understand how this is possible.  Almost every social media outlet has a way for you to private message someone.  Going to people privately allows them the opportunity to explain their content, change it, or delete it without feeling foolish or defensive.  Often when we feel defensive we will defend our actions no matter what, even if we feel like we are wrong. Understand that sometimes people will still not listen to what you have to say.  If what is posted is extremely detrimental then we need to move to step two.

2. Take someone with you, whom you both respect, to help them understand the negative effect they are having on others. Sometimes people may not understand why you are “coming after them” but if two of you are expressing concern over what is said not attacking who said it, it might help them realize the harmful effect they are having on others.  The key to this is compassion.  If the goal is to let them know how wrong they are, the two of you are just going to cause a bigger negative reaction.  The goal should always be to heal and restore.  If that doesn’t work then you move to step three.

3. Bring 3 or 4 people that care about both of you to express concern. You might be thinking if this is on social media this might be hard.  However, most of us argue on social media with people we know personally.  If you take the other two steps first and you have approached them lovingly and desiring peace then you might have to take this third step. When you bring others into the conversation it might help them see the effect they are having on more than just a one or two people.  The goal should always be to restore and come to a mutual understanding.  Sadly, we often get this wrong.  If we just bring a group in to prove a point it will only exasperate the issue and make things a lot worse.  You need to exercise wisdom and prayer to take this step.

If these steps are taken in love with a desire to help and heal, most of the time they will be successful.  If these steps don’t work then you might have to step away from the relationship for a season.  But please, keep it from being a knock down drag out fight for all the world wide web, friends, family, and employers to watch.

The concepts is the post are not new they have been around for over 2000 years and I would encourage you to check them out in Matthew 19: 15-17.

Suggested Resource:

How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age